Photo Credit: PFLAG SRV Facebook
(SAN RAMON, CA.) – At the Apr. 28 San Ramon City Council meeting, a staggering number of supporters showed up and voiced their advocacy in favor of the Progress Pride Flag being flown in June.
As I previously reported in the Progress Pride Flag article, the council approved the display of the flag being flown for June at the Apr. 14 meeting, with only councilman Robert Jweinat disapproving.
On Apr. 24, Chapter President of PFLAG Danville-San Ramon Valley Anuradha Gupta exclusively shared with me an email correspondence between her and San Ramon Valley Diversity Coalition, urging all concerned citizens to make their voices heard, and that’s exactly what took place at this meeting.
Photo Credit: Screenshot of email Gupta shared with me
During the opening minutes of the Apr. 28 meeting, Mayor Mark Armstrong called for public comment, and right away, it was revealed that nearly 20 residents submitted speaker cards.
First to speak was Treasurer of the PFLAG Danville-San Ramon Valley chapter Jamie Wolfe, who shared some very alarming statistics on how LGBTQ+ people are “five times more likely to be victims of violence and three times more likely to attempt suicide. Studies show that visible support, such as community pride flags, reduces both rates of violence and suicide among LGBTQ people, particularly children.”
Wolfe ends his speech by letting the council know that “clear support matters and paints San Ramon as a safe and compassionate community where LGBT folks can feel welcome.”
The message of the flag, symbolizing that all are welcome, was a major point in various speaker comments.
Board Emeritus of PFLAG, Bruce Hixon, told the council that such a commitment to displaying the flag “evidences support for a city that everyone is welcome, including minority interests.”
San Ramon Planning Commissioner Santosh Kanjula spoke on how symbols matter and how the flag signals “who is welcome and valued in our public space. By flying this flag, the city is not creating any public forum for individual expression but rather exercising its own voice to affirm that we are a community that celebrates diversity and stands against [the] historical exclusion of LGBTQ residents or any other minority sections of our community.”
Member of the San Ramon Valley Diversity Coalition Steering Committee Shailaja Dixit emphasizes how the flag brings the community together, by bringing “joy, pride, inclusion, and celebration…This flag is not a political statement. It is a human one. It signals safety, dignity, and belonging.”
Dixit concludes by reminding the council, “after all, San Ramon’s motto is: ‘Everyone is welcome here,’ isn't it?”
Longtime San Ramon residents Douglas Medlin, Neha Sharma, and Swati Kenjale all called for the council to reaffirm its support for the LGBTQ+ community, underlining the importance of the community belonging in San Ramon by respectfully urging the commemorative flag policy review to continue to raise the flag in the future.
Safety was another common concern amongst the speakers, with parents of LGBTQ+ children stepping to the mic to share personal stories.
Dan Frank proudly spoke about his son, who came out at age 15, “he is the kindest person I've ever met and a better human being than I will ever be or hope to be. He's living his best life currently as a graduate student at UCLA and I am honored to be his father. Unfortunately, this is not the case for far too many people in the LGBTQ+ community.”
Frank adds how members of the LGBTQ+ community face threats of violence against them, not only from strangers but even from their own family.
“The lack of emotional support from parents and supposed loved ones is psychologically devastating for them. Every 45 seconds, an LGBTQ+ child attempts suicide. Even one supporting adult can reduce this probability by 40%.”
Deb Briggs is a mother of a trans daughter, and admitted to the council that the pride flag is a symbol of safety.
“When we go on road trips with my family and we bring our trans daughter, she doesn't always feel safe and she doesn't always feel welcome. When we go to places that are flying the pride flag, she feels more accepted. She feels more seen.”
Member of the San Ramon Valley Diversity Coalition Steering Committee Mitchell Hopson states that while he isn’t a parent of an LGBTQ+ child, he empathizes with those who are.
“I can imagine that if I were a parent of an LGBTQ+ child and I saw the pride flag, it would bring me joy. It would make me think why San Ramon is special, why it makes sense to be here. But I think that it's up to us as citizens and you as council to continue to produce and to promote symbols that make people feel positive and make people want to come here.”
Hopson goes on to express how the symbol of the flag is so significant that not flying it would create a negative situation, imploring the council to “provide a safe environment where parents and families can be supportive of each other and produce a more community feeling.”
Marriage and family therapist Sangita Biswas has worked for over a decade with youth and families belonging to the LGBTQ+ community. Speaking candidly to the council, Biswas reveals that a mother with an LGBTQ+ child admitted how unsafe her child feels in almost every environment. “When you take away a symbol of safety like the pride flag, and you think of reviewing it, I want you to think of that mother who has to think about the safety of her child. And when that flag flies up there, it sends out ripples of safety messages.”
Active community member Rita Chakrabarti posed a question to the council, “Should the city use its voice to affirm that all residents, regardless of who they are or who they love, belong here and are safe here? Flying the pride flag says yes. And that is not a political statement. It is a statement of basic fairness, dignity, and community.”
Several citizens spoke of how dismayed they felt learning about the flag policy going under review and how the LGBTQ+ community does not have the same rights as others.
Pankaj Gupta holding a mini progress pride flag at the dais / Photo Credit: YouTube
Pankaj Gupta expressed how important the tradition of raising the flag was for him and his family. “As the parent of an LGBTQ+ daughter and a long-term resident of San Ramon who felt safe in the city, I'm heartbroken that the pride flag policy is under review. LGBTQ+ kids do not have the same rights as other community members.”
Ogie Strogatz is an activist and organizer with Indivisible ReSisters Contra Costa and co-founder of Lift Up Public Schools, and notifies the council that both organizations support raising the progress pride flag in San Ramon. However, the latest decision to review this tradition is “deeply disheartening. San Ramon has been a place where many felt a sense of belonging at a time when LGBTQIA+ individuals, especially youth and transgender people, are facing increased hostility and isolation. Visible support from local leadership matters more than ever.”
Extended Day/Enrichment Program Teacher Veena Lohia feels proud living in such a diverse area, but admits that the LGBTQ+ community “are our kids too and they are friends, neighbors, and they contribute to our society, but they don't have the same rights as we do and the attacks on their rights lead to higher suicide rates and violence against them.”
Chapter President of PFLAG Danville-San Ramon Valley Anuradha Gupta provided the council with disturbing data and gave an impactful speech, “eight in 10 LGBTQ+ kids are bullied in school according to GLAD. These are not numbers. They represent people in the room and in our community. While we have been told nothing is changing, the pride flag policy is being reviewed after five years, and this is the backdrop of unprecedented attacks on the LGBTQ+ community who do not have the same rights as many of us do. And those rights are constantly under attack or review.”
Gupta continues to proclaim how the pride flag is a historic symbol of the struggle the LGBTQ+ community faces, “signaling the victory of love, resilience, community, and courage. Sadly, the struggle continues. We look to our representatives to provide dignity and safety in the face of marginalization and continue flying the flag.”
Gupta finishes her speech by requesting that the council commit to a community stakeholder process before making any changes impacting the LGTBQ+ community.
Speaking on behalf of PFLAG, Gupta tells the council, “We would appreciate your commitment to inclusion, non-discrimination, safety, and support for LGBTQ residents.”
Beloved teacher at Dougherty Valley High School Allison Gardiner gives a passionate speech to the council on how the impact of the progress pride flag became inspiring.
“We deserve the microphone. We deserve the space for our voice to be included in the conversation. We deserve much more than to have our fight with the city to fly a small piece of fabric one month a year to tell us maybe, just maybe, we do actually belong here in San Ramon.”
The last to speak at the dais was also the youngest, a Gale Ranch Middle School student who disclosed to the council that he personally knows many members of the LGBTQ+ community, and having the progress pride flag waving in the air “displays that San Ramon city is diverse and respects everyone's choice and how they want to be.”
Once the time for public comment came to a close, Mayor Armstrong thanked the audience for their respect towards the speakers and reiterated that the council is committed to the fact that San Ramon is a “very diverse and welcoming community. Everyone is welcome here. That's our slogan, and we'll continue to uphold that.”
Since this topic of discussion wasn't on the meeting agenda, council members did not respond to any of the comments from the public, with Mayor Armstrong clarifying, “While we encourage your comments, unfortunately, state law prevents the city council from discussing items that are not on the meeting agenda.”
After the meeting was over, Chapter President of PFLAG Danville-San Ramon Valley Anuradha Gupta thanked me for the coverage and spreading awareness, sharing how PFLAG was “overwhelmed at the outpouring of support we have received. Besides the 18-19 speakers, there were over 30 people in attendance.”
For those interested, PFLAG Danville-San Ramon Valley is hosting a Progress Pride Flag Raising Ceremony on June 1, and encourages all to save the date.
For more information please visit their website at: https://www.srvpflag.org/
Or follow them on Instagram or Facebook
If you have any comments or questions, please email me at kathleen.p@lead4earth.org or comment below.
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