(PENSACOLA) --- I have avoided reporting on District 2 Commissioner Mike Kohler's questioning of the sexual assault abuse on Representative Michelle Salzman until now.
A resident reached out to me via email, asking why OpGov.News is not following the story like local media WEAR and Gannett-owned Pensacola News Journal.
Why?
I worked for both media outlets and now avoid sensationalizing sensitive issues for ratings or subscription sales. I don't have to do that with OpGov.news. But what I do have to do is answer residents' emails and questions and Kohler's answer was not satisfactory to the resident, hence, this report.
"Actually, I do not know how other news agencies in Pensacola have treated Kohler's remarks except to say that he publicly apologized," the resident wrote. "I am not sure that they have touched on just how destructive to a woman's psyche sexual abuse is - not just in the moment it is happening, but for life."
Even as I write this, I am not sure what notorious post on Salzman's social media said.
What I do know is that the public comment brought supporters to both sides. Some say it is unacceptable, calling for Kohler's resignation, while others, including Kohler's wife, say her husband did not mean it as it came out.
Kohler's apology is mute when it comes to the bigger sexual assault picture. I know because of my own experience. Unlike Salzman, who has the luxury of the comment deleted, I do not.
If you Google my maiden name, the Angela Santoriello search reveals my experience with sexual assault by former Mayor Tom Kelaher, when I was a public information officer. I was paid almost $150k to keep silent, but needless to say, I did not keep my mouth shut, as you can read in NJ.com.
The thirteen-year-old report in one of New Jersey's largest media outlets was published long before MeToo, making me one of the first who was not believed then and surely not by some to this day. My story survived even a decade after the abuse, with my Gannett reviving it here when Kelaher resigned.
Along with the statewide paper, local media agencies, including WOBM and Patch, covered the story, essentially minimizing my experience and amplifying his words against me.
Unlike Salzman, I never received an apology; rather, Kelaher continued to lie about the abuse in public, perpetuating the belief that a nice old man could never do what he did. My story has been minimized to a Google Search 15 years later. I have never had the chance to tell my side of the story, leaving it lingering constantly.
Like Google, I rank it according to, even minimizing it myself to survive it. The Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault (MCASA) is one of the first to point out how minimizing the event makes it worse.
MCASA notes that survivor study participants "took an average of 9 months to disclose following their sexual assault, and disclosed on average to only four people." Additionally, and this is key to Kohler and Salzman, "it was reported that negative social reactions, or poor disclosure reactions, had a significant direct impact on cognition after the assault."
Kohler’s passing social media comment cut Salzman deeply, bringing her back to the time of her assault. Like any other victim, Salzman had to relive her experience publicly because of Kohler’s unkindness.
But it's not just about Salzman or me.
It is all the other victims who relive their own assault upon reading about hers, as the resident who emailed me wrote. If it were not for the resident, who is a survivor herself, telling me I must author this report, you would not be reading this due to my own trauma.
But she is right. Like Salzman, I must come forward publicly to back the Representative and all other sexual abuse victims who had to relive their experience in reading hers recently.
"It totally changes their view of men, it changes their ability to form trusting relationships with men, and it leaves many of them in a dark hole in which they know what has been taken from them physically, they will never get back," the resident wrote. "Counseling, support groups, and talking through all those feelings can help them become survivors, not victims."
The resident continues noting, "Salzman understands how many thousands of women have been touched by sexual abuse and harassment."
"For Kohler to try to get back at her because he alleges she lied to him and poke fun at that 'wound' is totally unacceptable," the resident writes, adding the fact that the commissioner is a nurse makes it worse.
And I agree.
This report goes out to all sexual abuse survivors. Know that you are seen and healing is possible.
Comments